Hello, visitor!

Article:
When did you last think about how vitally important it is to know how to pick your life partner? How Do you choose the right partner? I usually ask
Therapist Advises How To Pick Your Life Partner.

Click here for how to find a true life partner




When did you last think about how vitally important it is to know how to pick your life partner? How Do you choose the right partner? I usually ask people, how is your people picker when it comes to choosing a life partner? Dating is a process of interviews in the form of meetings for coffee or dinner, and it is a vetting process. One of the most critical steps for each person is to take time to become clear on his/her own personal issues which are carried from their own early life experiences. You want to get healthy before getting married. You want to become clear on what it is you want out of life and marriage. You must take time to know yourself, your values in life, your needs, and your competencies in relationships. The more challenging and confusing your upbringing was, the more difficult your adulthood and your marriage will be. There is no way that you can skip this unless you take the time to work on this stuff and grow. When you take the time to know who you are and what you need in a long-term relationship, then you can practice in your dating process! Marriage is difficult and requires the right skills for growing closer together and staying connected as you will each change through the years to come. In marriage, one learns to become less selfish and less self-centered while knowing how to let his/her needs be known to the other in honest and healthy ways. To know how to talk honestly about your needs and your wants in marriage takes a great deal of work and learned skills. I usually tell couples it is critical that you know how to verbalize your needs in honest ways without reacting to each other. Therefore, a vetting process which is dating also requires the right information and right skills in order to make good choices. Most of us don’t really know what we want from relationships. This is no surprise. Human beings only get good at something through practice, practice, practice on a regular basis. So it’s really hard to know what you desire and need in a healthy relationship if you haven’t had one yet and if you don’t know yourself well. This includes reflecting on your values, your competencies, and character issues. Our culture gives us wrong and misleading advice. Firstly, it encourages us to remain uneducated about the art and science of healthy relationships and tells us to let our romantic feelings guide us. It teaches us to rely on “fate”, luck, following our instincts and then hoping for the best. Secondly, our culture mocks the wise and diligent search for a life partner. Research on meeting decisions shows that our choices usually depend on who is available at that time. Don’t limit yourself! Get them approved by your good and safe friends and family, and those people who know you well. Third, our cultural bias is to “settle down” with someone before you’re “too old” – whatever that means. You’re never too old to be with your life partner. This process takes time and effort and is worth investing in because you’re in it for the long haul. There are young men and women who want to get married without really finding out how to pick the right fit for a lifetime of a marriage. HERE ARE SOME COMMON PATTERNS OF THOSE WHO END UP IN UNHAPPY RELATIONSHIPS. The blind and deaf romantics. These people believe that falling in love is reason enough for a long-term commitment. Romance is an integral part of genuine relationships and love (true love is an act resulting from the repetitive actions you take) and is vital to long-term happy relationships. Feeling of love and romance is not enough for a solid relationship and marriage. You two need to have more than feeling love toward each other. When there are challenges and frustrations in your relationship, and then you say, “but I love him”, loving him is not enough and the real solution. You need more than just love. The person who is afraid. Anxiety can be a sound warning system, but it distorts health decisions and is terrible in the long run. Our culture offers us many messages driven by fear that we should ignore. It tells us to be afraid of being left alone (“off the shelf”), to be scared of older parents, to be scared of the opinions of others. This forces people to “reconcile” with inappropriate partners. A fear to follow is the fear of spending the rest of your life with someone with whom you have been continuously unhappy and with whom your friends and family are monitoring the harmful effects on self-esteem. The person who does not trust their own feelings. These people let the influence of others guide the choice of a life partner. Your choice is very complex and personal and varies from person to person. No one outside of you can fully understand your emotional depth. This is why you’ve got to take the time to do some in-depth work with the right therapist who can help you. Unless your relationship is neglected, abused, or abused, others’ preferences should not be taken into account. The person who is moved by a list. These individuals identify the boxes on the list of “ideal partners” rather than on paying attention to their character and competencies in terms of having the skills to resolve conflicts in life and more, and their values, do you share values that matter in life. Life is hard and messy. Is this person someone who has the skills and the competencies to face difficulties of life etc? The selfish person. There are three main types in this category: The “My Way or the Highway” type. These are people who do not negotiate, do not compromise, or do not think about others. She is convinced that her wishes, desires, and needs always take precedence over her partners’ wishes. Decisions must go their own way. Teamwork and genuine partnership are not on the agenda. They want to live a single life with someone who is there for the company and does what they are told. The best-case scenario is that they have an unofficial partner (who gets angry at the end) or, in the worst case, a damaged mop of self-esteem, which is called a martyr because she is in a relationship and is not of high quality. The “Lead Role” type. These people want to be the star of the show. Their self-absorption is so great that they want their life partner to be there for them as a therapist plus a fan club, with no concept that they must give these back to the other person. The main problem here is their total focus on themselves. This makes their life partner a subordinate which leads to an awfully boring relationship. The “My Needs and Desires” type. Of course, we all have needs and desires and we appreciate those needs being met. These people have little sense of putting their needs in perspective. They have little idea of giving back in a reciprocal fashion. If there’s not much else to bolster it apart from the satisfaction of needs, the relationship becomes lifeless. SO, HOW DO YOU PICK YOUR LIFE PARTNER? Friendship. Think of the friends you most enjoy hanging out with. When choosing a life partner, make sure you are a good friend and enjoy spending time with them. Remember, this is what you intend to do for the rest of your life! Formidable friendships usually have these qualities: Compatible sense of humor. Who wants to spend 50 years fake laughing? Playing Well Together . There are going to be many humorless situations in your life like doing housework, childcare, traffic jams, delayed transport, illnesses, and money troubles. Make sure you find the ability to laugh together to ease the burden. Respect for each other’s way of thinking and processing events .